Rather than prescribing healthy habits, I encourage my clients to cultivate rituals. Rituals infuse intentionality into habits, fostering a sacred space for relating to the Self and healing. By elevating habits to the status of ritual and infusing them with intention, we embark on a journey of profound self-discovery and healing. So, while I don't discount the value of habits, I implore my clients to approach them with intentionality, transforming mundane routines into powerful rituals that nurture genuine growth and healing.
When I introduce ritual to my clients, many of them connote ‘ritual’ to a religious practice but it's crucial to understand that rituals need not be tethered to organized religion. I like to think of them as practices that serve the unique divine within each individual. Decentralized rituals like the ones I work to develop in therapy with my clients offer deeply personal and potentially transformative experiences, untainted by guilt or shame.
My clients frequently report difficulty starting new habits or coping skills. It is my belief that this is because the behaviors are often not connected with a meaningful intention other than an implicit “I’m doing this to fix my problem”. Yes, that is the ultimate goal but mental health is not that linear. It is not as simple as going through the motions to be better. It is more of a disciplined exploration and the conscious development of a relationship to the Self.
Consider the common practice of counting to ten when angry. While this technique can defuse tension in the moment, it doesn't address the underlying causes of anger. Instead, I would suggest developing a ritual of daily encounters with the angry part of oneself through intention and meaningful practices to foster a deeper connection with one's emotional landscape. Though honed over time, rituals will produce lasting healing and integration, not temporary relief.
To me therapy is about more than just working towards being functional, it is about transcending our current state and striving towards wholeness, meaning, and purpose. Rituals are just one thing I use to help people on that path.
Take some time to consider the questions below and for further reading on rituals, check out this article from Psychologytoday.com.
What does ‘ritual’ mean to you?
What are rituals that you already practice?/ How do you serve the divine within you?
What habit would you like to make a ritual and what intention do you want to imbue it with?
How can you bring more intention to your life in general?
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